CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
