I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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