she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
