ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize