I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
