"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
