Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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