You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
tell me about the eggs
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
His nipple licking is glorious
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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