you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
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I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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