I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize