I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
