ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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