I'm so fucking centered right now
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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