I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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