it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
