She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
