Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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