i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She's the barista slut.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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