we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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