so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize