sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
