Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
