I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
