Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
