If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
