i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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