According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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