Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
