He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
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We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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