Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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