So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize