yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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