How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
