He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
