So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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