Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
