i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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