he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
