Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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