dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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