is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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