She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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