Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
