this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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