He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
