Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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