then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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