great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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