$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
