found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
