she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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