I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
