thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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