ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
