He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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