Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize