the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
