Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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