New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
